The Bros of Santa Barbara

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After many hours of research on the beaches of Santa Barbara, my friend and I realized we love the “bros”! You may ask, “What is a ‘bro’?” or “Isn’t it ‘brah’?” Good questions.

According to local sources, a “bro” is used to describe a person (i.e., “Yeah, Chris has been my bro since I’m three years old.”) while “brah” is more of a greeting, introduced by our Hawaiian brethren (i.e. “What’s up, Brah?!”). Now we’ve found the meaning of a “bro”, here are a few observations we’ve jotted down, written with mad love. Let’s hear it for the bros.

 

Dad Bro – 

Background: Used to shred the gnar, now shreds cheese for kids’ pizzasdad_bro

Hair: Clean-shaven or soul-patch near bottom lip

Car: Subaru Outback with 6 surf boards, 2 boogie boards, 4 wetsuits, and a bike strapped to top

Style: Surf clothing from 15 years ago, the last time he went shopping for himself sans kids

Food: Half-eaten hotdogs, tacos, burgers… whatever the kids don’t eat

Fun Fact: Calls his 3-year-old and 6-year-old “Dude”. Brings family dog everywhere.

 

Yogi Bro – 

 

Background: Might be from California or Ohio. Backstory fuzzy.

Hair: Dreadlocks or man bun depending on “hip” factor.yogi_bro

Car: A van he lives in (no judgment).

Style: Barefoot always, necklaces with crystals, pinecones, and other organic found items.

Food: Superfood smoothie in a mason jar and raw produce from farmers market.

Fun Fact: Says bi-sexual but really into women

 

Hell-A Bro – 

Background: From Santa Barbara but moved to L.A. and made it big with investments and/or the entertainment industry. Came back to SB before age 40.hella_bro_crop

Hair: Manicured

Car: Range Rover

Style: Designer suits but flip flops ready in car. On weekends, wears cashmere white T-shirts and designer, vintage-looking jeans.

Food: Lark, Honor Bar, Sakana, “The ranch” for brunch

Fun Fact: Loud talker

 

 

 

Loc Dog Bro a.k.a. Local Bro – 

Background: Born and raised in SB. Tolerates outsider bros on local surf breaks.loc_dog_bro

Hair: Short enough for a business meeting. Long enough to keep bro status.

Car: His beach car is a 1980s pick-up truck or hatchback adorned with rust spots, surf wax, shells, and old plane ticket stubs from Bali, Peru, and Mexico.

Style: Patagonia or the newest and eco-friendliest gear on the market

Food: Tacos from Cantwell’s on way to beach with favorite local brew or fresh-pressed juice

Fun Fact: Can adjust to fit in with all bros. Busts out Jeff Spicoli accent when needed

 

Missed Connections

Welcome to our first Craigslist collaboration. We couldn’t help but see if we could get these two together. (Bros, if you’re reading this, is it you? Email letters@santabarbarasentinel.com and we’ll pass along!)

 

Subject: On Thurs. 8/4/16 – Saw you at Seven Bar, then again on State St – w4m

You:  Mid/late twenties, white guy with a white T-shirt. Beard/mustache & a ponytail/bun. You were with a few friends. We saw each other at Seven Bar, both listening to the band. I was at a table with a couple. Later we drove by you on State Street, windows down, fiesta chaos. We smiled & waved at each other and you came to my car, asking where I planned to go next… then my driver kept driving! You’re cute and I wish I gave you my number.

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