Bad Date Exit Strategies

We’ve all been there… It’s a first date, (hopefully not a blind date) and it’s not going so well. It’s going so bad actually, that you just need to get out of there before you have one too many margaritas and then can’t even figure out how to Uber you ass home. So, to avoid that tragic situation, lets go over some exit strategies:

 

  1. Of course, you can always plan ahead and have your friend call you at a certain time, or even show up where you are (to dramatically enhance urgency) with an emergency of some sort. This is a time tested strategy that will always work!
  2. And some will say that honesty is always the best policy. And this is true. You can simply be completely honest with the person and tell him/her that you just are not interested in staying any longer. Just finish up that one drink, say you’re very sorry and split. It might seem rude but why prolong it? Just rip that band aid right off.
  3. You can try to scare him away. Talk about your paranormal experiences. Make them believe you are being haunted and your home is a hot spot for paranormal activity. If that doesn’t scare him out of there, suddenly pull an ‘It Follows’ and run away scared from that thing only you can see.
  4. Suddenly take whatever benign thing they just said and take it as the nastiest thing anybody has ever said to you.
  5. And lastly, fake a sudden illness. Maybe that lunch you had earlier didn’t settle so well. Look up symptoms to a random condition before hand. Whatever the illness, it’ll be a good excuse to excuse yourself.

Now that you’re out of there, call up some friends, go home to a nice bath, go relax and be glad you are off that horrible date. Hopefully the next one will be good enough to order a second drink.

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