Over 50% of men and women have at some point attempted anal sex. But, the goal isn’t simply to have anal sex. The goal is to enjoy it. And that’s the #1 reason most couples don’t attempt it a second time. Because it wasn’t enjoyable.
The key is to listen to your body and more importantly, listen to her! There are a few things to do before you make your first attempt or re-attempt to do it.
If you haven’t talked about it already, try having the talk when you are both relaxed and have already sparked up a sexual mood. Talking about it after you’ve had sex is also a good time to bring it up.
First and foremost, wash up! Try using a douche for a very thorough cleans. Shower together and help clean each others bodies to get comfortable with touching and being touched in places you haven’t.
VERY IMPORTANT: USE LUBRICANT!
Make sure you are using a lubricant. This is SO important. Silicone based or a thick water based would be best. The anus will not produce any lubricant of it’s own so you must use lubricant. This will be essential to help ease things in. Stay relaxed and go slow. Your anus will naturally try to contract and squeeze shut. But try to relax it by actually pushing out just a little. This helps loosen it just a little. And it’s best to begin with a finger to get use to the feeling. A finger will slip in easily. And this will get you to relax enough for the penis to enter. Speak to him and let him know to go slow. If it’s too painful, ask him to stop. Use a finger again. Try easing two fingers in. Slow and gradual… When you feel ready and relaxed, try his penis again.
Another gradual way to build up to it is by using small sex toys. Anal toys come in all different sizes. And keep in mind that it doesn’t all have to happen in one night. Make it a teasing game. And slowly build up to it over a few days.
Remember to trust each other and talk to each other. This doesn’t have to be a rushed process. And don’t take it to mean that the sex you are already having isn’t enough. This is just a new experience you can share together.